Breast feeding, Bottle Feeding and weaning
And just like that we were done. It felt so final with her being my last child and it definitely left a feeling of grief or loss but also a feeling of achievement. I never thought we would make it through the first 6 weeks but there we were 2 years and 1 month later, saying our goodbyes to our special time.
In my experience, there is so much information supporting the introduction of breastfeeding but not much when you can’t or when it’s time to stop… how the bloody hell do I do that ?
I didn’t know how or when to stop or that I might feel a strong sense of guilt for being the one to stop it. I wasn’t hearing that it would be a transition for both of us and some days it might be both not just one of us on the floor in tears.
My first feeding journey was excruciatingly tough and left me with feelings of failure or not being enough for my son. It was nothing short of soul destroying. Once I made the choice to switch him to formula we both slept more, he began to thrive, our stress levels lowered, I gained time back in my day to really bond with him. In short, he was happier and so was I. He deserved a happy Mama just as much as I deserved to be happy.
Thankfully, the second time round I had equipped my self with the right support and whilst it was still a ‘journey’ to begin with we battled through the pain and challenges and came out the other side, finishing up with a beautiful two year stint under our belts.
I could not be prouder of us both and I feel very grateful for the being able to experience what it is like to breastfeed. In saying this however both my children are thriving with two completely different feeding journeys and I’m proud of both, because both took courage, self belief, determination and a whole lot of love.
I wanted to leave you with some truths I have learnt from both sides of the feeding coin:
Fed is always best. No one stands in a room full of adults and points out who was formula fed. A baby needs a mother who is happy. There should never be any shame directed to a mother who chooses a different feeding path. She has ALWAYS chosen this path for a reason and that reason, whatever it may be, is more than ENOUGH
It’s ok to stop when you are ready, not when others think you should
You will know when it is the right time
They will still find comfort and you can still provide this because YOU have always been their comfort
The guilt can be real and hard. Be kind to yourself, lower your expectations and the pressure you put on yourself.
It is ok if you hated it or it was more heartbreaking than beautiful. Everyone’s story is unique. Some are harder or met with more challenges.
Mix feeding allows bonding time for other members of the family and sometimes a much needed break
you have done your best mama
you are and never will be a failure
